43rd birthday

43 years of roses and thorns and not a moment of regret. never expected surprises...its always been just another day, nothing to shout about...but the heart has weakened over the years, the joints have loosened and the memories have faded..oh yes..i need reading glasses too. would i want to exchange my life with someone younger? to have lived a perfect life of thunder and rain, sunshine and spring..would one want youth again over maturity and fun?

life has never been more beautiful..every second and every living breath has been a blessing.

was treated to a cup of special brew coffee in the late morning, well it started with that. and then lunch, tea, late tea, dinner and supper. absolutely filled to the brim...

dinner was perfect though..the first in my entire life.

we are at pizza hut, we finish the pizza and suddenly sis clears the table, and the lights go off, the birthday song is played and ten staff walk out with this cake...i cant see for a while...is it a pie? ohmigod...oh no...its my most favourite cake in the world...the vanilla mille crepe...gawd..in my 43 yrs..i finally get the cake i so damn hunger for, they call it the slice of heaven..the one and only which i will be selfish to keep and eat by myself..lol.

thanks to sis..she spends a fortune on it..i was embarassed of course..the whole pizza hut started clapping...goodness..i felt like a child. it was a great finish to a wonderful day..and just before i started writing this...i fell on my knees and closed my eyes..not in prayers exactly...but in thanks and gratitude mainly for family.. and secondly for friends...those who have taken even that one second to send tags or wishes or call or text..they say life begins at 40..i cant agree more. :-)

sis and i have a tradition of giving each other books on our bdays...this time she gave me 2 books, ten poems to change ur life by roger housden and the book of names by jill gregory and karen tintori...honestly...i wouldnt trade today for a huge bash of a party...it was simply and perfectly beautiful.

thank you all.

farah fawcett

i was going to mention ferrah leni fawcett's memories in the same journal that i wrote mj's but i think both of them deserved their own journals...so here i am writing a different one for ferrah.

i remember fawcett mainly for the six million dollar man...after which she was married to lee majors and appeared in charlie's angels as ff majors. she was romantically involved with two men i absolutely loved...majors and ryan oneal. majors and she separated not long after their union, but oneal stayed with her till her death in an on and off relationship.

she was a sex symbol with a body to die for. her hairstyle became an international trend with young women everywhere who were emulating her hairdo. even though she wanted to be known beyond the body and the hair...she became pretty much an underrated actress..men would remember her nude pose in the playboy which caused scandals, especially with a roman catholic background like hers.

a friend faiz, asked me if i liked her because she wasnt particularly liked..and my answer was this. you dont think about liking or not liking someone especially if you have grown up with that person..and that person becomes a part of you..a part of your growing up years..when such a thing happens, its beyond like..we dont really know if we need to like a person....we just know she or he is a part of us.

she was an icon, not as much as mj was..but i couldnt not write a little about her. she acted in many movies which got her nominations especially in the movies `extremities' and `the burning bed' which i hope transformed her from the pin-up sex symbol to an acclaimed actress. however charlie's angels kate hudson, farah fawcett and jaclyn smith will stay with me forever. unfortunately both hudson and fawcett suffered from cancer. fawcett lived to document her battle with cancer before leaving us finally with only memories.

both icons of the 70's...an era..which will soon be forgotten. i still think my generation had the best of performers...lol..i can be biased of course. hehehe

michael jackson

as i was driving this morning at 7.15am to send my soul mate to school and sis to work, they announced on mix fm, a cardiac arrest with some jackson...we couldnt hear as the windows were down and the sound of the wind swallowed the name...for a while didon looked at me and said `i hope its not michael jackson' so we changed the station to bfm..and there was the news..confirmed by cnn. cause of death is still unknown until the autopsy confirms it.

it sent a pang of sadness over us..and this came about just when he planned his final series of 50 concerts starting the 13th of july.

i first started enjoying the jackson 5 when we got our first tv ...i think i was only 5 years old then...it was the seventies, he was the lead singer...and when jackson had his thriller in 1982, i thought no one could compare to him...not even elvis or the beatles (even though some would say they are in different categories and thus uncomparable)...

when i used to go to the discos in my youth, i remember doing the backward gliding moonwalk..all courtesy of mj. he was the best..the most exciting and by far the most talented of all performers, with squeals and titters and dance movements that everyone began to immitate.

what he did for charity was another reason to love him. and he adored his children, literally lived for them. and in regards to all those allegations... we can choose to believe or discard it. the public never seem to know the truth about anything anyway...its always hearsay.

hardly a few years older than me, i literally grew up with his music..each one of his songs...loving every moment, every song, every dance, every bit of everything..my first walkman only played elvis and jackson, it so easily brings tears to my eyes....i can hardly believe his demise..i think the world has just lost the BIGGEST pop star in history...

the afghan by frederick forsyth

straight after the glass palace, i wanted to complete the afghan. a fictional story of british and american intelligence and secrete missions behind enemy lines in pakistan and afghanistan. frankly i would rather watch a movie of such a genre than read the book. after watching the whole 24 series, i think no other book can beat the ctu there. so yes i would prefer watching it rather than imagine a plot described by the book

in the afghan, there is a major al qaeda operation in the works but the intelligence have absolutely no clue on the target. since they do not have anyone in the inside, they do the near impossible job of infiltrating an agent into al qaeda. they hire colonel mike martin, a former sas officer who is passed off as izmat khan, the afghan who is a former senior commander of the taliban.

forsyth has obviously done lengthy research into the movements of the al qaeda and mingles fact and fiction well. the book is a good read giving an insight into systematic schemes of international terrorism, the faith and motivation of terrorists, how they work, the people involved, the ways of the intelligence and their detection of unimaginable threats that are very much plausible in the real world. a bit rushed at the end with a little disappointing climax, and i must say this to conclude, one cannot help but compare it to the superior day of the jackal.

the glass palace

my entire life has been surrounded by books. there is nothing i love more. the glass palace by amitav ghosh was at the beginning my toilet read, which means i read only in the mornings when nature calls. as a result, i could only complete three to four pages a session.

with a slow beginning, the book pretty much dragged. but when it came to the dizzying array of events beginning with king thibaw's entrance to ratnagiri...i decided, i had to finish it in a day. i started yesterday and finished just an hour ago.

552 pages with the author's note, it is more of a political, historical and family epic, something pretty difficult to make a success of especially with all those characters and the time span across three countries mainly burma, india and malaysia.

it will take me a little time to write about this. it will be on my blog. i simply cannot leave this out. my review will be lengthy not because the book is so, but because there are many minute details that i would like to remember in years to come.

this is his fourth book, and my first ghosh...there will definitely be more.

my next is the afghan..by frederick forsyth

registered financial planner

i finally did it.!!!! all those moments of slogging with studies and projects and exams...i finally cleared my seventh level rfp exams, the recognised mark for the highest level of competence in financial planning..the dream that i have been wanting to achieve...tough paper, sat for it on the 15th of jan. handed in the final project on the 15th of feb, and today, i received the fax saying i passed....feels almost like i achieved the world. lol.

will take mum, sis, and my soul mate for a treat..they deserve this one from me. they were all so patient when i spent time studying instead of attending to them. especially the little one. just did the 3 times table with her and allowed her to play outside so she is having fun today.

such a relief...for the past month my pressure has been soaring, wondering when the results would be out, its like i can breathe again, freely.

so what's next? maybe a masters and phd after that...life is filled with education and knowledge..never seems to end. have taken to some great slokas and mantras...might take up distance learning in sanskrit..lets see.

feels wonderful to be the cream of the cream...and frankly... no money can compensate this achievement, this feeling and this fulfilled mission. i am actually qualified to be an independent financial planner...wow..just the sound of it makes me feel like a million dollars...lol.