MH 370

We often have these waves of thoughts that are intercepted by the local media, tv reports and opinions of friends about almost all the tragedies which we have faced over our lifetime. This year started out gloomy with ma’s illness, the recovery of which had been the main focus in our lives. Jan 15th onwards, the role of a mother-child relationship reversed and she was both bed-ridden and totally and completely dependent. We also saw a decline in every aspect of her health as well as mental and emotional wellbeing. I intended a blog on ma more as a self-therapy and to overcome the grief that just refuses to lessen, but before I could unearth the emotion and time to do so, the heartrending news of the mysterious disappearance of a 777 boeing surfaced, drowning every other priority or notion we want to pursue.

I have been reading the papers meticulously to which ma would have commented that my student days are back and there would or could be a paper which I would be assessed on. I also have watched every news channel on the net and on tv diligently, soaking in and listening to unbiased/biased information, alongwith every now and then evaluating the comments and opinions over the social networks and amongst whoever I meet in person.

I have buckets to say about this and I feel my head rupturing with too many contradictions, but I have held back simply because I have faced a loss not long ago, and I figured that if I had a family member on that plane,

just as I wished/wanted for ma, I would want a prayer for that missing member. This again does not mean I am religious or/and I believe in prayer, but I have always maintained this, just because I do not believe in something, doesn’t mean that it does not exist. Therefore, if there is death, let the souls rest in peace.

I dreamt of Captain Zahari, he was exhausted and I was beside him talking to him like old friends do. There was more to the dream which I will refrain from amplifying here because dreams are said to be a byproduct of our inner thoughts. I am neither afraid to say what I think nor would I openly say them, but I feel if certain words of the masses have seeped through a crack to anger me, my opinion might do the same to them. Why add fire to an already huge furnace?

It is here that I want to bring up a very dear friend of mine, someone who’s blog is worth a read, not because his opinion is important or unbiased, but because he highlights certain issues that might escape us in our determination and drive to blame this whole thing on any one individual or government. His blog is hobbit1964.blogspot.com.

Since my blog is meant more for my own ramblings and therapy, and I know hardly anyone would peek into what I have written or into the friend’s blog that I am including here, I still want to do it as a reminder to myself that in seeking for peace, appreciating those who have done a job better than I ever could, offering expertise and kindness wherever and whenever I am able to, I will be focusing on the right things and eliminating all negative actions, words, thoughts (whether speculation or not) which would have scarred me as a lesser mortal.