Happy 2022

I was contemplating for many days to write my annual new year blog.  

Now that I’m at it, I will strive to keep it short and simple.

I used to be mechanical before, robotic in nature, in consumption and in relationships. I struggled in life, been there, done that and at every junction, I became a warrior, a survivor.

I also cared. Quite deeply actually. And truly loved.

From an introvert child I grew into an adult social chameleon.

I was a lot of things that I am not now.

 

The new year means another day alive, another year, another birthday. It is about being blessed and being grateful. Therefore, it is cause for celebration.

It is cause too for this write.

But my truth is that it holds no meaning anymore.

To further expand on my thoughts, would mean to disrupt the positive wishes.

Therefore, I will reserve my unfathomed ideologies for myself.

 

However, for those who think I have entered an abyss with my hermit life, they are not wrong but my abyss has sunshine with shadows and every sunrise is a new day of a new year, while every shadow is proof of the sun’s rays on me.

When the celebrations explode with displays of fireworks and shock wave sonic boom sounds, I think of how happy everyone will be, partying with the best cuisine, swaying with their loved ones to auld lang syne, as they raise their glasses to the coming year.

A cliché maybe but I celebrate this special day, every 24 hours.

Having an illness or a physical difficulty in life is a beautiful reminder of how real every day is and how much gratitude we should attach to every given breath even while we are asleep.

Just today, as I was rushing due to my own folly and mindlessness, I slipped and fell hurting my hips and knees. I have a dislocated shoulder and a swollen toe. I hit the side of my head which immediately sent me into a spin of vertigo. It was an arduous feat just to stand on my two feet again, but while I was struggling to get up, I neither thought of pain nor of the difficulty, I was in all honesty filled with gratitude for still being able.

Unceasing gratitude and executed contentment have been the major ingredients in my recipe for happiness.

I will neither speak of solitude nor of detachment, as it is annoying to people who crave for company. But in the coming year, I will attempt a blog entry on solitude/loneliness and another on boredom or since they run along the same lines, I will combine them into one post.

For now, I want to add that this past year has changed me a little more, or maybe a lot more than the previous years so I am uncertain of the degree of change in the coming year as for the first time in my life, I see myself not indulging in writing anymore. I cannot say positively that it will happen but I think I am slowly heading there.

Again, change has been my only constant for the past few years, so I might vacillate incessantly allowing indecisiveness to reign.

Until recently, I had someone in my life who was an unabating listener, a repository of all my insane, psychotic thoughts and also of my words of wisdom. But life, like nature, is as beautiful as it is cruel. The choices we make will either reap us the benefits or suffer us the consequences.

Every way we react and every decision we take or make depends on our interpretation of what is presented to us. We think we are right all the time. There is a clear overlapping of rights and wrongs, as they apply differently to different situations with different people and even though we often see ourselves as right, we seldom are.

We lack a higher form of intelligence to enable us to empathize and understand without evaluating or judging.

Which brings me to silence.

In it, I found a neutral space where I don’t have to be right or wrong. There is no battle to fight. The less you present your opinions or your verdict in conversations, the more you strengthen your mind. Judgement, I deduce, should be kept for ourselves, a reflection, an introspection.

When you do not need validation from others, nothing impacts your thoughts and actions. Real freedom becomes your truth and fear innately dissipates.

The major triumph, as per society’s portrayal, this 2021, has been Duli’s completion of her Masters in Environmental Engineering.

Society demands and dictates rules for our behaviour and achievements.  Successes have to run along the lines set for us. Anything unacceptable by their standard is disregarded or frowned upon. We remain slaves as long as we still want to fit in.

An entry into our lives this December was a beautiful cat with lemony eyes we named Lebu, pronounced `layboo’, meaning lemon in Bengali. She was pregnant when she entered our home. 

I went a little insane buying for her premium cat food for good skin and hair after which she never failed to visit us for her treats, added with a little bit of love, especially after her delivery. She belongs to herself and comes and goes as freely as she chooses.

For this coming year, there will be no resolution and no planning or goals for me.

The water tiger year 2022 has a prediction based on a few negatives by feng shui experts but since I have long stopped believing in anything anyone professes, I would infer otherwise.

I see the tiger as brave, confident and extremely charming. It is comfortable alone or with its tribe. It is both a protective and an unmatched leader, not undermining autonomy of others.

Therefore, irrespective of the predictions and beliefs floating around out there, you can predict your chosen route by creating your own chart to guide you positively, constructively and progressively. There are things in life which are eminently impossible, but only if you believe so.

Here’s wishing everyone 365 days of happiness and daily celebrations.