Translation :
I remember ma, sometimes
That you will never return to me
You're deep in your path, me in mine.
Were you upset? Was it me who made a mistake?
Didn't I explain it well
That you were my raison d'etre
So then Ma, where did you go leaving me?
I started out writing a normal blog
But this time I wanted it unique
So, I gave in to my wayward poetry
To govern a privileged speak
A decade of absence, ma
Death arrived that Valentines Day
She watched us watching you
While you struggled to stay
‘The Persuader’, the book I will never write
Is about her, my alter ego, my other half
I have romanced her for far too long
A dance, an occasional laugh
Every night I see her weighing her thoughts
And when morning comes, she spares me
She’s aware that I am ready
But she is yet to agree
Ashon found me when you left
And I found solitude, an inimitable gift
I am neither moored nor steered
As she watches me laying adrift
So, maybe she allows me time
To wallow and luxuriate in sin
Thinking perhaps I would enjoy it too much
So as to not let her in
But I will defy her one day
When the waiting extends
And even she would stand aside
Adjusting, making amends
I believe no god, no fairy tale
No love too, no hate
No reaction, good or bad
No thoughts, not even fate.
I need no compass or map
No road shall lead me,
No guidance or teachings
No light to see
Give me no advice
I need no gesture or talk,
For me to decide
Which way to walk.
I walked far away from them
In silence, solo-bound
I chose it right, ma
This time around
This sanctuary, a taciturn whole
Is my pasture, my land
Alone in the midst of solitude
Least alone I stand
And I hope if anyone should arrive
They would turn back and leave
Thinking I am no more alive
Death is declared a saddened state
By the living
suffused with fear
Stories and lies through generations
No truth dare come near
Your presence gave me life
And your absence made me whole
I am my own story now, ma
An unchained simple soul
I love my life but I have no greed
Their laws are not for my sake
Callous in reigning control
Of my life, that isn’t mine to take
I have fallen out of love
Slaughtering them with no grace
Reducing my species to a bonfire
Destroying everything in their space
I have forgotten who I was
In an entourage which played
Hypocrisy and diplomacy
Blinding truth a blacker shade
I am not concerned with wars and ideals
New promise of powers that rise
And the old that’s forgotten
In their politics, religions, shams and lies
I dissociated from the clock too
I know its 7pm when it gets dark
But that day you left, THAT DAY
Is a print, an indelible mark
Ten years, ki bolbo ma
But when I think it through
I don’t really miss us
Because my solitude is you
In the midst of the chaos and drudgery
You have always been my soft glow
That 14th February you transmogrified
Into a cascade, and easy flow
From a mother, my mother
In innumerable ways and views
To become my prose, my poetry,
My Valentine, my constant muse
